Realization Wednesday

It started out as any other Wednesday. I woke up  before the sun and took my usual 15 minute shower. Another 15 minutes and Gerine was knocking on the door. We talked over breakfast and then she went on her merry way. Another 15 minutes later...I was out the door myself. On this particular morning though, I let my mind wander during my drive up to my new found "home away from home", my job. I began to think about the beauty of the morning. Very few people are out and about. The sun is just rising, sometimes simultaneously with the setting of the moon. The air is crisp and fresh. When I reached the summit on which my little elementary school rests...my breath was literally taken away. This little podunk town is quite picturesque.

I walked in to my place of work, signed my name, checked my box, made some copies, and headed for my room. As I made the trek to the "far side", my mind began to take its little journey again. It finally hit me folks...I'm a teacher. A real life teacher. I went from being a single college student to a still single college grad, to an even more single career woman with 26 children. Wow.

There are definitely those days where I feel like asking my boss, "why did you hire me? I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I"M DOING!!!" But as I get to know my co-workers, the veterans- I have come to understand that I will never have it just right. This profession is ever-changing, and I love it. Anyways, I digress...
 
So, I was walking along and I realized that I have done it. I have reached an extremely pivotal point in my life. And for the first time in a very long time, I felt a sense of pride in myself. I let that sink in a little bit. And then, I stood up a little straighter, held my head a little higher, and started my day.

*Now if only I could say that the rest of this epic Wednesday of Realization carried on with just as much spirit and "feel good" vibes....But no. I, Erika Monique Ruesch, experienced for the first time in my career...the projectile vomit  scenario. I won't go in to details in order to save myself (and you my wonderful readers) from having to re-live this experience. But let me just say...yikes. 

The last realization I had today was this: I am alone, with my Betta Fish, Charlie...whom I love dearly. When Charlie dies...I will be all alone. And someday I will say..."I never got married, but I did have a fish once." -This one was for you Mimi! (And no, I'm not serious.)

Second Star to the Right, and Straight on Til Morning

Peter Pan always has been and always will be my favorite story/movie of all time. I love the plot-the idea that maybe, we don't have to grow up. I have a lot of friends that live by a similar rule of thumb. "Big Kids". And truthfully, they seem happy. But,there is something to be said about growing up. I have officially reached that stage in life; the point where you are no longer a child, a teen, a reckless college student.

In the past 3 months I have: graduated college, attained a full time teaching position after one interview, worked 60+ hours 6 days a week all summer, saved almost all of the money earned from said summer job, bought a new car on my own, moved in to my own place...alone, and began working as a full time, 4th grade teacher. And while my pocket book is suffering, my house is hot and most of the time, very lonely, and teaching has taken over my life...I have never been happier. 

For the first time in my life I am doing things by my rules, and for me. My home might be hot, but its mine. And I love it. I even love the pink shower tiles. My car might have cost me most of my savings, but its safe and it's all my own. My career may be exhausting and causing me sever anxiety attacks-but at least I can say I have a job.

My intro into "grown-updom" has been pretty fantastic so far. Of course, for those nights we need to forget about car payments, strange and indistinguishable house noises, and jobs that seems all but impossible at times...All it takes is a happy thought to get to Never Neverland.

I'm back!!!

Back by popular demand...and with a fresh new look! This will hopefully be a way for me to:

1. Keep my sanity while living in Globe.
2. Let out my feelings of happiness...and frustration that accompanies the "first year teacher".
3. Allow my snooping family to stay even more updated on my personal life.
4. Stay grounded when everything else around me is whirling around.

But, until I get internet in my little 2 bedroom oasis that is a combination of "wannabe trendy" and "ocean side bungalow" I can't promise regular postings. Bear with me.

xo,
Mo